I’ve seen other adaptations of the Orczy stories, but the black-and-white Scarlet Pimpernel is noteworthy because of its reflection of Anglo-American concerns about dictatorship and war in Europe and as a forerunner to characters such as Zorro and Batman. Speaking of swashbuckling, fellow fans of everything from Errol Flynn’s films to Star Wars, Highlander, The Princess Bride, and The Lord of the Rings should note the passing of sword masterBob Anderson.
Pirates 4 was better than its muddled predecessor At World’s End, with a more linear plotinvolving the Fountain of Youth, less pointless backstabbing and visual effects, and somewhat less mugging by star Johnny Depp. The romantic subplots were still extraneous but less annoying, and Penelope Cruz as pirate Angelica and Ian McShane as the notorious Blackbeard were worthy foils to Depp’s Capt. Jack Sparrow and Geoffrey Rush’s Capt. Barbossa. Not surprisingly, Disney’s On Stranger Tides leaves the door open for yet more sequels. I’d give it a B, 7 out of 10, or three stars.
The apparent theme of many of the movies I’ve mentioned here is that retro films, especially swashbucklers, never truly go out of style. The Artist is no exception, both following and paying homage to the tropes of the silent era. The French film is set in Hollywood of the late 1920s and early 1930s and follows the charismatic George Valentin (Jean Dujardin as an analogue for Rudoph Valentino) and young actress Peppy Miller (played by Berenice Bejo) as their industry deals with changing technology and audience tastes. Valentin’s dog steals the show. I definitely recommend The Artist, which I’d give an A-, or four out of five stars, or 8.5 out of 10.
On Friday, 16 December 2011, I picked up the registration for my new car and got it inspected. I also handed over the title to my old automobile. The next day, Janice and I met role-players Sara F. & Josh C. for lunch at Whole Foods at Legacy Place in Dedham, Massachusetts.
Director Guy Ritchie is still fond of explosions, Gypsy music, and slow-motion fisticuffs. Actors Robert Downey Jr. as Holmes and Jude Law as Dr. John Watson appear to be having a blast playing up their “bromance.” Downey Jr.’s comedic chameleon owes at least as much to Peter Sellers‘ manic Inspector Clouseau in the Pink Panther flicks as it does Basil Rathbone or Jeremy Brett’s sleuths.
Jared Harris, the son of the late Richard Harris and already a villain on Fringe, acquits himself well as that “veritable Napoleon of crime,” Dr. James Moriarty. As with the original serialized fiction, women are merely in supporting roles in Sherlock Holmes 2. Mrs. Mary Watson (Kelly Reilly), Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams), and fortuneteller Madame Simza Heron (Noomi Rapace) are involved in Moriarty and Holmes’ chess game as attractive pawns.
Noted Sherlockian Stephen Fry does get an amusing turn as Holmes’ older (and smarter) brother Mycroft. In A Game of Shadows, Sherlock Holmes, Watson, and Mme. Simza race across Europe to investigate anarchist bombings and a profiteering scheme to plunge the continent into war. This plot is surprisingly faithful to “The Bruce-Partington Plans,” “The Final Problem,” and the historical facts of how the Victorian era eventually led to World War I or the so-called Great War.
I’m not sure that Conan Doyle would recognize his world in this latest cinematic adaptation, however, with its steampunky emphasis on grime, crime, and pyrotechnics over erudite detection. Still, it’s worth remembering that the late 19th century was an era of technological change to match our own, with electrical street lights, the horseless carriage, telegraphs, and machine guns all changing daily life.
Overall, I’d give Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, which is rated PG-13 for violence and innuendo, a B+, three out of five stars, or 7.5 out of 10. The movie is good popcorn entertainment, and another sequel is reportedly in the works, even though its box-office performance could have been better.
Fellow role-players, here is my update for Session T3.36 of the latest adventuring party in my “Vanished Lands” heroic fantasy campaign setting. The teleconferencing team met on Sunday, 4 December 2011, and has been using Pathfinder, Skype, and an online dice roller.
In one ancient world, there was a region where strange majicks and demihuman races thrived. After “Holy Steel‘s” journey to the distant empire of Khemet, another motley group gathered in the northwestern “Vanished Lands” to explore a world full of perils and wonders….
After meeting in the Wisalef Forest, an unlikely band of adventurers encountered the hostile Centaur followers of Vappu Lahja on the Plains of Sathendo….
>>Telecom party Player Character roster, as of autumn 2011:
-“Asish Chen Ti” [Byron V.O.]-male Tsucharim human archer (Mongol-style Ranger), escaped from the kingdom of Gokuri; owner of Akita dog Genghis and horses Onimusha and Gashmu; NGl, Age 20, Lvl. 4
-“Jovinda Halflight” [Sammy H.]-female Half-Elf (Grugach/Hifalendorin) Cleric of Mekkil, goddess of nature; owner of horses Wyth-Amoi and Meth-Fenna; NGl, Age 23, Lvl. 4
-“Kazuo Takenaga” [Taum D’A.]-male Nezumi (Rat-kin) Monk from the Zedu kingdom in the Therud Forest; LNg, Age 20, Lvl. 4
-“Gawain Keary” [Paul J./absent]-male Saganim human Illusionist (proto-Celtic Wizard); NGc, Age 20, Lvl. 3
-“Kovar” [Beruk A./absent]-male Half-Orc/Saganim human Paladin of Mithras, god of contracts and brotherhood; LGn, Lvl. 3
-“Davven ‘Digger’ Hollysharp” [Robert A.S./absent]-male Faldine Halfling archaeologist (Tallfellow Rogue) from a pipeweed farm in Tarken; CGn, Age 45, Lvl. 3
>>”6 to 9 November 1229 B.C.E.:” The adventuring partylost nearly two months [of “game time”] and its steeds while enjoying baked goods in a Fey barrow. After resupplying at the Hifalendorin (proto-Western European) human border village of Tarken, the group rode north in search of its missing animals and companions. However, it found Onimusha and Genghis under attack by a strange monster.
The creature has the hindquarters of a wolf, long forelimbs ending in talons, and a steaming skull that resembles that of a rabbit. Asish whistles to his dog Genghis, while Jovinda sends horses Wyth-Amoi (“Wind Spirit”) and Meth-Fenna (“Silver Mane”) away. Kazuo circles around, between the scattered trees.
Jovinda draws her bow but misses, and Asish hits the attacker with a leaf-headed arrow. Kazuo runs up and unleashes a Flurry of Blows. Genghis is unable to pierce the monster’s hide, and horse Onimusha (“Demon Warrior”) backs away.
The beast, later identified as a Barghest, turns its red, glowing eyes at the Grugach and Nezumi, but they shrug off its Crushing Despair. Jovinda yells to divert its attention from Onimusha, and Asish fires more arrows. The diabolical Goblinoid grabs Kazuo and threatens to rip his throat out, but the Monk is defiant.
Jovinda casts Spiritual Weapon and backs up, as Asish snipes from the saddle of new warshorse Gashmu (“Noble Servant”). The Half-Elf Cleric and Tsucharim Ranger injure the Barghest enough that it drops Kazuo, who hits it with another Flurry of Blows.
Surrounded, the Barghest tries to blink to evade more blows, but the trio finishes it off. Although Asish wants to decapitate and burn the devilish beast, Jovinda notes that its pelt may be valuable for trade. Kazuo agrees with Asish, so the scout uses his katana and Bead of Campfire to incinerate the remains. They then scatter the Barghest’s ashes while wondering who summoned it.
Priestess Jovinda invokes her patron Mekkil, goddess of nature, to consecrate the area. Scout Asish is happy to be reunited with his animals and follows the Barghest’s tracks deeper into the Wisalef Forest. Martial artist Kazuo quietly sniffs for other predators.
Kazuo‘s keen nose leads the trio to a rocky hilltop clearing. Asish spots a lean-to shelter and creeps ahead. He hears pots and pans and sees an old woman who is apparently packing to leave. The Tsucharim rider returns to his companions and formulates a plan.
Jovinda noisily walks straight into the campsite and greets the short woman, whose greenish skin, toothy maw, and long, pointed ears mark her as a Goblin. Kolija Ventramin invites the young Grugach to sit with her as they trade tales and gifts.
Stealthy Asish and Kazuo creep forward, bow and siangham drawn. They look at each other and eavesdrop while trying not to be seen by the Goblin. The Ranger left the steeds behind at the edge of the clearing. Jovinda declines Kolija’s offer of food, and Kazuo smells something foul in the overstuffed cauldron.
Jovinda Detects Evil, but the witch is unperturbed, openly casting her own protection spells. Kolija knows the fairy tales of Vappu Lahja, a beautiful woman who rejected three princes and bargained her soul for unspecified abilities. Jovinda and company wonder if this is the same unaging woman gathering Centaurs near the town of Kedetura and inciting Fey folk against humans on the Plains of Sathendo.
Kolija also hints that Vappu Lahja may have “renegotiated” the terms of her power arrangement. The crone calls out to Asish and Kazuo, who reply that they are not afraid of her even as they back away. Jovinda decides that although the Goblin is evil, she isn’t an immediate threat and can be left alone for now.
As a former slave to Nannuattan (eastern Dark Elf) sorcerers, horseman Asish is reluctant to let Kolija live, but wise Jovinda and Kazuo agree to move on. The trio continues northwest, following maps of Ley lines and abandoned border forts. Asish hopes for time to bond with Genghis, and Jovinda considers sharing her abilities with Wyth-Amoi or summoning an animal companion.
That night, the adventuring party keeps watch as fog and frost roll in. Jovinda hears a merry hunting party and sees four Alvari (Sylvan Elves), more rustic than their urban Quelanthi (High Elf/Eladrin) cousins but less nomadic than the Grugach (Wild Elves). They ride slender Elven horses and are followed by Cooshee — swift Fey hunting dogs.
After waking Asish and Kazuo, Jovinda and Genghis hail the hunters. Dark-haired Delvalatar Juteriel is courteous but reserved, and fair Caliran Gelos handles the mounts. Green-clad Aelwyn Kisto looks suspiciously at “barbarian” Asish, but spear-carrying Feldostram Owedoc surprises Kazuo by addressing the rat-kin as an equal.
Noble Delvalatar explains that he and his band are hunting a dire boar and goat-horned stags in the woods. He and rugged Caliran say they have heard how Vappu Lahja’s sway has spread from Kedetura, and haughty Aelwyn expresses concern about human corruptibility.
Asish defends his honor, describing how he escaped from the armies of Gokuri after the destruction of the dreaded Flying Citadel (two years ago in “game time,” six years ago in real time!). Feldostram respects the Ranger’s story, and the Elves agree to accompany the human, Grugach, and Nezumi for a little while as they head toward the city of Alfendi…
Since we probably won’t have quorum in the next few weekends leading up to Christmas, the next “Vanished Lands” telecom game is tentatively scheduled for Friday, 30 December 2011. Let me know as your travel plans firm up.
In the meantime, Team 1 (the crew of the “Blackbird“) for the FATE 3e “Vortex” space opera meets next on Monday, Dec. 12, and Team 2 (the crew of the “Appomattox“) will play again on Dec. 19. Please remember to let me know when each of you will be available, weather permitting, in January 2012. May all your holidays be happy! -Gene
I’ve been a fan of the late Jim Henson‘s creations since watching Sesame Streetand the original Muppet Show as a child in the 1970s. Henson’s gentle humor didn’t talk down to children, nor was he afraid of including adult jokes that sailed over the heads of then-innocent younger audiences.
Janice has an Animal puppet, and I have a Kermit the Frog — both from before we met. We’ve attended exhibitions of Henson’s work at the Smithsonian Institution and other museums, and we met his widow and son Brian, among other puppeteers. Henson’s gifts of joy and wonder have continued to appeal for generations, but is The Muppets as entertaining as its predecessors? Also, are we able to enjoy our foam and felt friends as we once did?
The good news is that director James Bobin and actor and co-writer Jason Segal have made a strong effort to be faithful to Henson’s spirit and to keep the Muppets as wacky as ever. The Muppets is filled with celebrity cameos, allows us to revisit familiar characters and songs, and should be fast-paced enough for the children of original fans.
The movie follows brothers Gary (Segal) and Walter (voiced by Peter Linz) as they grow up and eventually visit the dilapidated Muppet Studios. Walter uncovers a plot by evil oil baron Tex Richman (Chris Cooper) to buy and tear down the Muppets’ former digs, so Gary drags his girlfriend Mary (Amy Adams) along for the ride to reunite the Muppets and hold a telethon to save the theater.
Segal’s love for the Muppets is apparent, and Oscar nominee (and future Lois Lane) Adams’ talents, first seen in Enchanted, are put to good use for various songs. The bucolic Smalltown is nicely contrasted with the Muppets’ latest road trip and the glamorous yet seedy Los Angeles. Cooper is surprisingly game as the villain, even breaking into a rap number, and Rashida Jones is an impatient studio executive.
Other cameos include the indefatigable Mickey Rooney, musician Dave Grohl, and actors Alan Arkin and Emily Blunt. Comedians Whoopi Goldberg, Zach Galifianakis, Jim Parsons, Sarah Silverman, and Jack Black also appear, continuing a tradition from the TV series and 1979 movie.
With iconic characters such as Superman, Mickey Mouse, and Bugs Bunny, their supporting casts grow over the decades and often overshadow them, so I was glad to see the focus back on Kermit in this year’s Muppets. Gonzo, Rizzo the Rat, and Pepe the Prawn are all present, but not dominant. I miss Henson as the voice of the friendly frog, but there were numerous visual cues to his ensemble variety show (one of the best, along with The CarolBurnett Show).
At the same time, I understand why Frank Oz — the original voice of Miss Piggy, Yoda, and many more — chose to step away from this production. I think the filmmakers tried to honor Henson’s idealism, but they were a bit down on the franchise, saying, “It has been years since we were together in the public eye,” even though Disney and Henson Studios have put out several Muppet movies.
There were a few times in The Muppets when Kermit seemed even more discouraged or Miss Piggy was even more of a diva than usual, but I think they were balanced out by the overall sweetness of the script and live-action supporting cast. To me, the moments that felt true included a barbershop quartet singing Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and chickens clucking Cee Lo Green’s “Forget You.”
We also saw The Muppet Show‘s opening credits from a new angle, Animal in anger management therapy, as well as old favorites such as “Rainbow Connection.” Overall, I’d recommend The Muppets to anyone who’s still a kid at heart. (The recent comic books weren’t bad, either.) The movie is rated PG-13 for humor and slapstick, and I’d give The Muppets a B+, a 7.5 out of 10, or about three out of five stars. I’m glad I was able to see the film with fellow fans.
My favorite Muppet movies are The Muppet Movie, Muppet Christmas Carol, and Muppets From Space (I’d put The Muppets on par with the last one). I’m less fond ofThe Great Muppet Caper, The Muppets Take Manhattan, and Muppet Treasure Island. There are also several fun holiday specials — I’m partial to Emmet Otter’s Jug Band — and other TV shows, such as Fraggle Rock and The Storyteller.
Like Segal and company, I’m not sure that many children with their noses in videogames or being shuttled from soccer to dance practice and homework will appreciate The Muppets, but as with classic Star Trek, I think it’s worth making an effort to expose them to Henson’s humanist values of playful curiosity, determination in the face of adversity, and most importantly, kindness and acceptance of all.
Despite an untimely death, Jim Henson left a legacy of family-friendly entertainment as well as more mythic material, such as Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, and Farscape. I’ve got posters of the Muppets and Farscape cast on my bedroom walls, “It’s Not Easy Being Green” on my lips, and a little bit of Henson in my heart.
In one ancient world, there was a region where demihumans and magic thrived. Travelers strove to be adventurers, and adventurers strove to become heroes amid wonders and perils.
After the “Liberators,” “Dragonslayers,” and “Seekers of Lore” but before the “Faith-Based Initiative,” “Holy Steel,” and other wanderers explored the northwestern borderlands and the Sea of Nagendwa, the “Broken Chains” united in the Halmed Desert….
>>Some of the “Broken Chains” (originally using D&D3.5):
-“Kemosh-ket” [guest Byron V.O.]-male Anpur Kahin (Jackal-man Druid/Dunewalker) and member of the Order of the Golden Lion; NGl, Lvl. 6/1
-“KunalSampat Rajiv Ramaprased” [Beruk A.]-male Harappan human Sa’luk/Dhurtaraka (proto-Indian Rogue) with an oasis stronghold; Align. NGc, age 28, Level 10
-“Val Shriboe” [Brian W.]-male Gokuri Tiefling (devil-touched) Warlock, with Imp assistant Szaboch; former member of the “Faith-Based Initiative”; LNg, Age ~50, Lvl. 9
-“Neela” [Sara F.]-female Wemic Kahin (centauroid leonine Druid); with mate Tar and three cubs; CGn, age 22, Lvl. 9
-“Raz bar-Dini” [Josh C.]-male tattooed Suthern human Sha’ir (proto-Arabic Wizard/Sand Shaper); LGn, age 21, Lvl. 7/3
>>”1 to 6 October 1229 B.C.E., from the correspondence of Raz bar-Dini:” Dear father, it has been good to have helped people from far and wide. It has been too long since I’ve written, but my divination studies often take me away from the comforts of civilization.
As such, I’m saddened to learn that you are currently out of town — no doubt bringing vast wealth to my mother and influence to our house — as I sit in your study penning this note. The latest exploits of the “Broken Chains” have brought me back to Falit for a few days at least. Perhaps I should start at the beginning.
It has been about a year since my adventuring party traveled across the dangerous Halmed Desert together. As you know, I’ve been splitting my time between the Tower of Sight in the capital, my friends’ hidden oasis, and the lost city of Tel Silat.
Mighty Kemosh has defended the oasis, escorted me safely to the archaeological site, and helped other former slaves. Kunal, a successful vendor of chilled snacks, had been trading with the Vanaka (Dune Dwarves).
Our good friend Neela and her mate Tar were raising their cubs Iben, Nika, and Nar at our secret sanctuary. Honorable “Mumtaz” [Brian] had returned north to the cruel Garku Nasit, and eccentric preacher “Killian” [Greg D.C.] had taken up residence at Emein Island. I’ve lost track of our other associates.
Several days ago, I was visiting the den of Neela, whose love for her cubs is already the stuff of legend. I was scribbling arcane characters on an exterior wall, working on a magical formula of recent discovery, when a horned being suddenly appeared before me!
“Val August” spoke in Hifalendorin (northern human common) and offered to perform a service if I returned him from whence he came. The red-skinned man appeared to be middle aged, with fine robes and slippers and a winged Imp named Szaboch.
Val said he had been working as a tax collector in the town of Pledwilt. He was just with Halfling assistant Oswald serving baronet “Kurick” [Dave S.C.] on the distant Plains of Sathendo!
I determined that this creature couldn’t be a Djinn or Efreet, as he didn’t know the Suthern tongue. I then summoned Kemosh, whose valor is known from Falit to the corrupt tribes of Tel Silat — may the great Isis visit a pox on each of their houses. I asked the tall Anpur to make a quick patrol to ensure that nothing else had come through with our noble “daemon” guest.
Neela herded her unruly cubs indoors, placed them under Tar’s care, and came to see the newcomer. Meanwhile, Kemosh called on Kunal, whose frozen treats are becoming known to all who need them, interrupting his negotiations with some Vanaka. The Kahin told the Sa’luk that he had found a dead camel at the edge of the oasis, opposite of where Val had appeared to me.
Kemosh and Kunal had begun following tracks back toward us when we all heard an unearthly voice ask, “Where is he? Where are they?” I ran toward them and beheld a large naked humanoid whose swollen pink skin was dotted with irregular tufts of hair. From its fingers dangled torturer’s blades, already stained with the blood of another visitor to our oasis.
Clawed Kemosh then leaped from a rock face to the monster and raked it. The horror split open like an oozing sausage and expressed masochistic pleasure. Nimble Kunal slashed with his adamantine saber, and Warlock Val drew a wand and threw fire at the beast, whose infernal nature protected it.
Wise Neela cast Entangle, blocking the Outsider’s progress with oasis vegetation, and I cast Desiccate on its wounds, seemingly stopping them from unnaturally swift healing. My gorge rose, but I managed to rejoin the fight. Kemosh blocked a heavy blow with his four claws.
Kunal stepped back, switched to a sling, and pulled out his sack of enchanted stones. I began Calling Sand from the desert’s edge, while Szaboch gave Val a scroll of Comprehend Languages. The knowledgeable Imp identified our foe as a Amaimon, an interrogator from the Nine Hells.
Even as Kemosh continued clawing, Rogue Kunal hurled a sling stone, which turned into a boulder as it flew! It went straight through the torso of the devil, revealing innards of pink flesh without bones or organs. Neela called to her fellow Druid Kemosh to play tug of war with the Amaimon, who taunted Val. The horned gentleman tried to Bewilder the hunter, to no avail.
After much dodging and tugging, the one tough mother and Anpur — with help from Kunal and me — rended the devil (not Val) limb from limb. Kemosh and I ground the still-regenerating remains into a paste, embedded them in rocks, and separated the rocks.
Although I guessed that Val had tried to escape former diabolical overlords — and who hasn’t? — he claimed to be from the Prime Material plane of existence, like whoever summoned the Amaimon and him. At least fierce Neela and the so-called Tiefling don’t hold me responsible for this awkward meeting.
Since we were all restless and wanted to get Val home, we bade farewell to Tar and the cubs, the Vanaka sand ship, and the oasis (we blindfolded Val as a precaution). A few days’ ride later, we arrived here, the capital of the Ebir Sheikdom. Falit‘s bustling soukhs have changed little in the past months, but we have seen things in cities and out in the sands that few have imagined.
My counter-scrying had found that whatever had called the Amaimon was lurking beneath a wadi (dry stream bed) and long-abandoned oasis. We went to consult with my colleagues at the Tower of Wind, but Kunal made himself scarce rather than face another ordeal at the Mumlak krak (castle of slave/soldiers to the caliph). The Sa’luk said he had to see some guild or another, probably about smuggling.
After months of “roughing it,” I was glad to behold the three towers of sorcery, especially the wide windows of the Tower of Wind. Flying carpets, winged mounts, Wizards in flight, and avian familiars filled the bright sky. I asked around and found my old friend Tarzu, a mist-shrouded Djinni with an opal gem in his turban.
Tarzu confirmed that Val was not a demon and that I may have just intercepted the summoning that brought him and the Amaimon to our oasis. Val seemed relieved to have been spared a worse fate and hoped to return home (Pledwilt, not the kingdom of Gokuri).
Kemosh and Neela, however, were determined to go to the dead oasis to root out the evil there, especially after we had knocked out the magical barrier [intended to block “Holy Steel”]. Kemosh and the Order of the Golden Lion were more worried about feral Anpur to the west and Hobgoblin legions from the north, and Neela wanted nobody to be able to track back to her cubs. I met with them and Val at a coffee shop to talk about our next misadventure….
Byron, it was great to see you this past weekend, and I hope that everyone enjoyed our latest foray in the “Vanished Lands!” I thought that our quick-and-dirty conversions from D&D3.5 to FATE 3e Legends of Anglerre worked well enough, even though a longer-term campaign would require a closer look at aspects, powers, and items.
In the meantime, please note that the next FATE 3e “Vortex” space opera will be Team 2 (the crew of the Appomattox) on Monday, 28 November 2011. The Pathfinder/Skype: “the Vanished Lands” telecom group is scheduled to meet again on Sunday, Dec. 4, and “Vortex” Team 1 (the crew of the Blackbird) on Monday, Dec. 12. Have a Happy Thanksgiving! -Gene
Gene's Worlds 